I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
