Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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