I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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