apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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