Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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