She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
is that a dick in a sweater?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
