Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
