Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
