I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I need help removing her.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
