Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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