I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
