I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
