I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Also, beer. Big fan.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
