so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
