i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
