Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
