I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize