I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
