I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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