Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
worst night to have a conscience
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you inspire me to be a worse person
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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