I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
