I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
