mondays should just be called national damage control day
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
