i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
