It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
