The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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