i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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