i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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