ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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