Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
