i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
