One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
