We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
