Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
