she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
