if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
