none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
