no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
