JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize