whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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