Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
