Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
