Kiss
Puke
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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