my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
