just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize