Those balls look pretty dangerous.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
