no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
