Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
