They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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