i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
