Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
