My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize