we're chasing vodka with high fives
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Vodka?
Forever.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
you're hired as official boob wrangler
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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