yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
