Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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