there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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