Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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