There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
