I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
