Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
