fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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