So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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