Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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