take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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