so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize