I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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