the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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