I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
How's work?
Spinning.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
