Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
