I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
