dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
