I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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